Times Turn 33

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.----      - ---     --     ---   -----   - --       ----  ----   -     ----.
 )                                                                         (
(                             NewOrigins Events                             )
 )                             October, Year 3                             (
(                                                                           )
 )    A few adventurers are whispering about a fight between two armies    (
(     happened in the mountains of Basington Rocks where 1combatant was     )
 )     killed. The defenders were furious and put all attackers to the     (
(     sword. This battle will be known as Siege of the Castle Building      )
 )                                  [4].                                   (
(                                                                           )
 )                         .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                         (
(                                                                           )
 )    Several refugees are whispering about a clash between combatants     (
(          happened in the desert of Great Basingford Desert where          )
 )     35combatants were killed. The attackers were victorious.. This      (
(     battle will be known as Battle near the mountains of Basinggrove      )
 )                                 Rocks.                                  (
(                                                                           )
 )                         .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                         (
(                                                                           )
 )     Multiple peasants have heard about an encounter between enemies     (
(     happened in the jungles of Ugdur Jungle where many soldiers will      )
 )      never fight again. This battle will be known as Siege of the       (
(                       Tower Blademaster's Fist [1].                       )
 )                                                                         (
(                          .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                          )
 )                                                                         (
(      Several adventurers are rumoring about a fight between hostile       )
 )    forces happened in the desert of Great Ialihn Desert where battle    (
(       ended in a slaughter of one of the sides. This battle will be       )
 )         known as Battle near the mountains of Lurggar Heights.          (
(                                                                           )
 )                         .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                         (
(                                                                           )
 )     Multiple pilgrims are rumoring about a clash between combatants     (
(       happened in the desert of Great Basingford Desert where many        )
 )      soldiers will never fight again. This battle will be known as      (
(              Battle near the mountains of Basinggrove Rocks.              )
 )                                                                         (
(                          .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                          )
 )                                                                         (
(     Many dockers are discussing about the city of Urgdur that lies in     )
 )      the Antanoakos Tundra tundra, where an opposition annihilated      (
(                                  guards.                                  )
 )                                                                         (
(                          .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                          )
 )                                                                         (
(      Numerous commoners are worried about daredevils who have killed      )
 )    Hydra (639) near ocean of Boldur Sea. Freeing the swamps of Great    (
(                        Yaer River from their fear.                        )
 )                                                                         (
(                          .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                          )
 )                                                                         (
(         Multiple merchants are whispering about witchers who have         )
 )       annihilated Demon (7243) near volcanoes of Lurggar Volcano.       (
(      Freeing the mountains of Bolagal Mountains from their anxiety.       )
 )                                                                         (
(                          .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                          )
 )                                                                         (
(      Handful traders are discussing about rangers who have destroyed      )
 )     Sandlings (16311) near ocean of Ugubal Lake. Freeing the desert     (
(                 of Great Ialihn Desert from their horror.                 )
 )                                                                         (
(                          .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                          )
 )                                                                         (
(        In the desert of Great Lurgbuz Desert, near ocean of Juzaen        )
 )        River, Undead (925) who continue to cause horror to local        (
(                               inhabitants.                                )
 )                                                                         (
(                          .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                          )
 )                                                                         (
(     In the swamps of Great Amain River, near jungles of Volbuz Woods,     )
 )    Undead (1444) who continue to cause anxiety to local inhabitants.    (
(                                                                           )
 )                         .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                         (
(                                                                           )
 )    A group of daredevils extinguished the Giant Scorpions (217) who     (
(     inflicted fear on the inhabitants of the Great Ametanimos Desert      )
 )                  desert near ocean of Ametanimos Lake.                  (
(                                                                           )
 )                         .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                         (
(                                                                           )
 )     A group of adventurers decimated the Giant Scorpions (759) who      (
(        inflicted horror on the inhabitants of the Great Ametanimos        )
 )          Desert desert near mountains of Ametanimos Mountain.           (
(                                                                           )
 )                         .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                         (
(                                                                           )
 )       Worrisome news were coming from the desert of Great Volbuz        (
(       Desert. Inhabitants were afraid by the assassination near the       )
 )      mountains of Boldur Heights. The assassin escaped unnoticed.       (
(                                                                           )
 )                         .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                         (
(                                                                           )
 )      Horrifying news were coming from the desert of Great Lurgshak      (
(     Desert. Locals were scared by the assassination near the ocean of     )
 )              Milan River. The assassin escaped unnoticed.               (
(                                                                           )
 )                         .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                         (
(                                                                           )
 )         Worrisome news were coming from the mountains of Dunham         (
(      Mountains. Citizens were shocked by the assassination near the       )
 )    volcanoes of Birmingmoor Volcano. The assassin escaped unnoticed.    (
(__       _       _       _       _       _       _       _       _       __)
    `-._.-' (___ _) `-._.-' `-._.-' )     ( `-._.-' `-._.-' (__ _ ) `-._.-'
            ( _ __)                (_     _)                (_ ___)
            (__  _)                 `-._.-'                 (___ _)
            `-._.-'                                         `-._.-'

Quests

In the desert of Great Lurgshak Desert lurks the Undead (911). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the desert of Great Dunlock Desert roams the Sandlings (433). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the desert of Airakos Sands roams the Giant Scorpions (246). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
Build a Temple in Ametanakos Dale for the glory of the Gods.
In the desert of Great Volbuz Desert lurks the Sphinx (631). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the desert of Great Autarkaros Desert roams the Giant Scorpions (234). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the forest of Nimith Forest roams the Living Trees (482). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the desert of Great Bletchgrove Desert lurks the Evil Warriors (601). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the mountain of Izuknuz Mountains roams the Family of Ogres (258). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
Build a Temple in Antanoatres Woods for the glory of the Gods.
In the tundra of Maranarotes Tundra lurks the Storm Giant (504). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the desert of Great Volbuz Desert lurks the Sandlings (2252). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the desert of Great Autarkirmos Desert roams the Giant Scorpions (108). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the jungle of Barakguzun Woods roams the Giant Scorpions (738). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
Build a Temple in Ametanaskalos Dale for the glory of the Gods.
Build a Temple in Aerakos Valley for the glory of the Gods.
In the tundra of Tritotuspolisus Tundra roams the Giant Birds (149). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the desert of Antanoarotes Sands roams the Sandlings (121). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the desert of Great Azagal Desert roams the Sandlings (405). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!

Articles

Reinforcements are coming!
Gyperboreya (10)
Nothing new...
Iron Harlequins (12)
Looking for more monsters to harvest...
Four Horsemen (13)
We heard someone hunts for devil. How we can join the hunt?
Great Horde (16)
Sleep well, my dear friend!
Desert Eagles (18)
We are preparing for a surprise from the west. 
The Filras (20)
Orcs missionaries will spread the word of The Holy Bulb all over the world!
M9 (22)
oh, hello assassins from portals, was expecting you. Unfortunately have no VODK for a warmer welcome, hope you won't mind.
Akacis (23)
Ravens is catched! 
The Power (24)
The monsters were killed as planned. But ? Some others spawed immediatly !!!
Silver Hand (25)
New month is here
Avalon Empire (3)
Have we explored all the gates ? I can believe it
The Cartographer (30)
The Prime Exarch sits back in his chair and eyes the reports that have come in.  "This might very well be a good month after all."
Atlanteans of Yore (32)
Quest: In the desert of Great Volbuz Desert roams the Sandlings (4300).  Free
the world from this menace and be rewarded!
The Wanderes (34)
It's Time for Silver
Blood Angels (35)
==========
Middle Age
==========


Our Eldest's Column
-------------------

Who writes these headlines?  Whose middle age?  Certainly not mine, I'm "venerable".  Or maybe just "old".  "Worn out?"  I could go for worn out.  After writing all these orders, I'm definitely worn out.  This is a tiring job.  The little folk are supposed to be independent minded souls; why do they want me to send them instructions they will ignore anyway?

I guess the demons tell me this is the middle age of the world.  Maybe the headline describes our world, not me.  In that case, I have achieved one of my life goals.  I wanted to survive until the middle age of the world.  The world is middle aged, and here I am.  My other goal was to have fun, and I've done that, too.  Hey wait, if I've achieved all my goals, doesn't this mean I can ask the priests to write me a "Nyn apolyeis ton doulon sou, despota, ata to rhema sou en eirene" speech?  Don't I get to die after reading the speech?  Maybe this is my way out of this job.

Middle age of the world?  Really?  It sure seems like the end times to me, but according to the demon I'm to be stuck with this job for awhile yet.  The demon says I have to wait for the magicians to be done studying before the end times will come.  I'll never get out of this job that way, as best as I can tell a magician is indistinguishable from a well into which one pours silver every month.  I don't see an end to it.  I've got to get out of this unfortunate job some other way.  Necromancy seemed promising.  I really, really wanted to stick the high priestess with the job.  Sadly, I have consulted with demons and necromancers, and it appears that necromancy cannot make me younger than the high priestess after all.  To get out of this job, I either have to make myself a juicier target for assassins, or forget to eat.  Well, little folk have been good at forgetting to eat lately.  We have fallen behind with our plan to distribute government officials who store away emergency food (silver) and do not share for any purpose other than preventing starvation.  Time to resume that program.  But that means writing more orders, and I am already tired.  Can I resign in favor of the Little Folk Liberation Front Loonies?


Weather Column
--------------

We have heard a rumor that a horse and skill to ride it are all that are needed to escape the rain.  This seems too easy to be true, but we have lots and lots of evil magician's towers in the little folk lands, so we will give it a try.  If true, this could really increase our audience sizes at our weather concerts.


Puzzle Column
-------------

The Cartographer will find one gate on his or her first jump.  If the world contains N gates, there is an (N-1)/N chance of finding a different gate on the next jump.  Once the cartographer does find a second gate, (which on average takes N/(N-1) jumps) there is an (N-2)/N chance of finding a third gate.  Finding the third gate will, on average, take N/(N-2) jumps.  Finding the fourth gate takes N/(N-3) jumps, and so on, up to the last gate, which takes N jumps to find.  So if there were only 8 gates, the Cartographer would expect to find all 8 in, on average, 1   8/7   8/6   8/5   8/4   8/3   8/2   8 = 726/35 = 20.7 jumps.  To find 12 gates, the Cartographer needs, on average,  1   12/11   12/10   12/9   12/8   12/7   12/6   12/5   12/4   12/3   12/2   12 = 83711/2310 = 36.2 jumps.  To find 16 gates, the Cartographer expects 2391514 / 45045 = 53.1 jumps.  


Sphinx Column
-------------

Where did all the sphinxes go?  We only see 7 sphinxes now.  It is a little sad.  The treasure is good for the hunters of course, and this is the normal course of civilization, but after we invited hunters to hunt the sphinxes, now the little folk children miss the Sphinxes.  Those of us who are older know they were terrifying, but they are prettier in the illustrations of our children's books, and our kids who have never seen a real sphinx think they are cute, and wonder why their elders asked hunters to come kill them all.  One group of hunters (not little folk, a more powerful faction) last month killed a mating pair of sphinxes.  (Very impressive fighting, the little folk will always be slaves because we can never fight like that.  Wow.)  The little folk children think that the successful hunting of the mated pair of sphinxes is a bit sad; we were looking forward to seeing a cute baby sphinx soon.  Their elders are happy to have more safe farmland.


Old Guard Column
----------------

I was talking to the little folk obituary columnist while assisting souls in their passage from this plane of existence to the next, and I heard that he, while searching for good lives to write about, had found two more cities and one town that I didn't know about that are still ruled by the Old Guardsmen.  Maybe I quit my old column too early.  He did say there were large accumulations of armed fighting men in all three settlements.  I wonder if the fighting men are singing that "Fie on Goodness, Fie" song we all hear about.  I wonder if The Guardsmen have heard the song, and are singing it too?


LFLF Column
-----------

Our Eldest has gone completely silent.  We suspect he is in hiding with the High Priestess, though our agents have not found him.  She is easy to find, though she hasn't been writing religion columns, she has been leaving that task to her sisters.  We may need to recruit a more observant leader to find Our Eldest.  If you are more observant than any goblin can be (fairies, we are looking at you), come join the little folk liberation front.  We will train you at liberation front expense, and pay you to track down our absent without leave Eldest.  (Awol Eldest?)  There are rumors that he has run off with a mistress, but, well, he seems too old for that sort of thing.  What would happen if we declared he was missing and presumed dead?  We could make up some story about being eaten by a sphinx, or dying in an electric ecstasy at one of the magicians' tower weather exhibits.  We would have to explain why there are no survivors (to contradict our story) but how we know he is there.  If you have ideas how we can make up a plausible tale of Our Eldest's death, come tell your idea at your local Little Folk Liberation Front meeting.  We have the very best biscuits.  Cooking may not win wars in this world, but it does still attract citizens to nutty meetings like ours.


Quiet Column
------------

Armies are quiet this month.  Well, rowdy, (except for the little folk orcs, who are polite, clean, devout and disciplined) but not killing anyone.  The battlefields are quiet.  The armies are loudly singing that "Fie on Goodness, fie" song that recently became popular, but they are banging their swords on their own shields as accompaniment, not banging them on other factions' armor.  

Assassins are not quiet this month.  Well, of course they are quiet, assassins are always quiet.  But the assassins are killing people.  Even killing peaceful cartographers by some reports.  This is worrying.  Cartographers are peaceful, and presumably not carrying much of value.  Littlefolk are peaceful (well, maybe not, but at least poorly armed and poorly trained so not dangerous) and don't own much of value.  That means we could be targeted too.  Panic!  Everybody panic!  The sky is falling!  We shall all be assassinated!  We started studying stealth too late.  We started studying observation too late.  We wonder which one to study now?  Is it better to be so stealthy the assassins can't see you, or observant enough to call for help?  

The littlest solution is to study neither.  Assassination grabs headlines, but far, far more littlefolk have died to monster attacks than will ever die by assassination.  More little folk have died of starvation than have died by assassination.  The littlefolk should not worry about assassination, we should worry about what actually kills us.  We should do a better job of storing food (one little folk government agent should not share except for hunger) and a better job of avoiding known monsters.  Why do new littlefolk go to see the Evil Magician every month?  It isn't the government's fault.  At Our Eldest's instruction, we put up a big sign, reading "Evil Magician in this direction".  But it didn't keep the little folk out, instead there are vendors beside the sign selling umbrellas, scarves, and picnic baskets to the tourists.  Sigh.  At least our birth rate is high.

With our penchant for repeatedly wandering into danger, we are lucky our neighbors are all magicians, not undead.  We would have some pretty powerful monster neighbors by now if all those Magicians' Towers had been crypts instead.


Peace Column
------------

Another relatively peaceful month in lands inhabited by little folk.  My faith in humanity (sorry, my faith in Atlantis factions, no matter what their race) is coming back.  It looks like people really will give peace a chance.  We don't see many factions attacking other factions this month.  Maybe the peace will hold.  Yes, the knights are all singing "Fie on Goodness, Fie", but maybe they are just blowing off steam, and they really don't want to burn any towns or slay any men.  

Would soldiers even obey an order to burn a town?  The ancient history books seem to say that towns may be pillaged, so maybe it is possible to burn them.  The little folk have never seen that, and we hope we never do.


Obituary Column
---------------

Nectudad was bored with the weather in Stockwood, so went to an outdoor concert that promised rain and maybe thunder.  He was crushed at the concert by evil warriors.  He died without seeing evil magicians or any weather.
little folk (38)
Overhead in an Urgdur tavern....
-------
"... and so's your mother!"
    "I'll kill you!"
*crashing*
Kiiran (39)
The road snaked through the desert, winding east and west in a big loop. It was not an efficient link to a new city, but when completed it would help. It linked all the little rootstone quarries, iron mines, camel ranches and the like into one big conveyor, moving the lifeblood of the people around.
The Children of the Four Winds (40)
Winter again. Another snowstorm. The North will freeze. And only in the spring the bodies of the enemies will see the sun and thaw...
Alwengos (41)
No one likes traitors, no matter what motives they try to justify their meanness. Raven, leave my lands!
Prodigal sons (42)
Mission accomplished, sir.
Move on to the second phase.
Martiniks Trade Guild (43)
Utuk'ku is looking forward to winter, the cold should bring the clarity of mind required for this moment.
Stormspike (49)
The Great Ringway is under construction. No sphinxes allowed.
Thane's Ring (5)
Torwin returned to the Void between the Worlds. He had fallen. 
Corvin Ravens (55)
Why did Ring attack our peace loving citizen? What a monster!
Orc Hunters (56)
The whole building is hopelessly standing,
There is no way to pour a monolith.
The guys swear with annoyance:
The women stole the vibrator at night.
Dark League (6)
"Do you have any content for the news today?" asked the goblin.

The quartermaster hesitated, stroking her muzzle.  

"I almost fear to report we actually had a victory over wandering monsters, for fear that they will soon return, and in greater numbers.  But finally we had a unit not be wiped out when attacked.  I think we have to celebrate the small triumphs," she finally replied.
The Fendahli (65)
Hey, we found one. Someone is down a mage... please count carefully!

Peace at all costs!
Peacekeepers (7)
Amount of Tiny Beaver users grown so hight that she can't handle load alone.
We should buld a new ship.
SuperBober (78)
Mo Money?
Romans (8)
How to deal with all these evil wizards.... hmmm....
The Broken Skull (81)

Rumors

...they say someone has cut all the raven (55) fingers off 
scum dies like a scum...
But I don't want to go among mad people.  
Charge your batteries... switch Off
pure raven filth
ring hole mystic
of beast and his sand
power up