Times Turn 9

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 )                                                                         (
(                             NewOrigins Events                             )
 )                             October, Year 1                             (
(                                                                           )
 )     Some commoners have heard about an encounter between two armies     (
(     happened in the plains of Volbuz Valley where some men died. This     )
 )      battle will be known as Battle near the ocean of Dunham Sea.       (
(                                                                           )
 )                         .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                         (
(                                                                           )
 )    Dozen bards have heard about a conflict between enemies happened     (
(      in the jungles of Autarkotuspolisus Woods where 1combatant was       )
 )     killed. The defenders were furious and put all attackers to the     (
(        sword. This battle will be known as Siege of the Fort Pale         )
 )                              Shelter [2].                               (
(                                                                           )
 )                         .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                         (
(                                                                           )
 )    Several travelers are talking about the village of Balkhagal that    (
(     lies in the Great Morwaz Desert desert, where a faction tried to      )
 )                   expel guards but were unsuccessful.                   (
(                                                                           )
 )                         .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                         (
(                                                                           )
 )    Dozen travelers have heard about the village of Newwood that lies    (
(      in the Great Birmington Desert desert, where a rebels destroyed      )
 )                                 guards.                                 (
(                                                                           )
 )                         .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                         (
(                                                                           )
 )    Multiple adventurers are discussing about the city of Ogbuz that     (
(       lies in the Great Bletchvil Desert desert, where a partisans        )
 )                 attacked guards but were unsuccessful.                  (
(                                                                           )
 )                         .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                         (
(                                                                           )
 )     Multiple locals are talking about daredevils who have murdered      (
(     Family of Ogres (86) near forests of Maranarotes Forest. Freeing      )
 )        the desert of Great Bletchvil Desert from their anxiety.         (
(                                                                           )
 )                         .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                         (
(                                                                           )
 )        Some traders are rumoring about daredevils who have slew         (
(      Sandlings (3128) near ocean of Great Methan River. Freeing the       )
 )             desert of Great Ugdur Desert from their horror.             (
(                                                                           )
 )                         .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                         (
(                                                                           )
 )       In the desert of Great Perikeros Desert, near mountains of        (
(       Hornwood Heights, Demon (729) who continue to cause dread to        )
 )                           local inhabitants.                            (
(                                                                           )
 )                         .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                         (
(                                                                           )
 )    In the jungles of Ugdur Jungle, near ocean of Great Lirael River,    (
(          Great Apes (864) who continue to cause terror to local           )
 )                              inhabitants.                               (
(                                                                           )
 )                         .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                         (
(                                                                           )
 )       In the desert of Great Ametanimos Desert, near mountains of       (
(     Ametanimos Mountain, Sandlings (870) who continue to cause horror     )
 )                          to local inhabitants.                          (
(__       _       _       _       _       _       _       _       _       __)
    `-._.-' (___ _) `-._.-' `-._.-' )     ( `-._.-' `-._.-' (__ _ ) `-._.-'
            ( _ __)                (_     _)                (_ ___)
            (__  _)                 `-._.-'                 (___ _)
            `-._.-'                                         `-._.-'


In the desert of Great Autarkirmos Desert roams the Giant Scorpions (108). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the desert of Great Birmington Desert lurks the Sandlings (926). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
Seek a token of the Ancient Ones legacy amongst the iron of Great Ugdur Desert.
In the desert of Great Ugdur Desert roams the Crocodiles (106). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the desert of Great Izuknuz Desert lurks the Sphinx (811). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the desert of Great Antanoatos Desert roams the Sandlings (350). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
Build a Temple in Agamenakos Desert for the glory of the Gods.
In the desert of Great Ugdur Desert roams the Great Apes (864). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the desert of Great Volbuz Desert lurks the Sphinx (631). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the mountain of Nottinghill Rocks lurks the Undead (498). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the desert of Bletchfield Sands roams the Sandlings (405). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
Seek a token of the Ancient Ones legacy amongst the grain of Ialihn Plains.
Seek a token of the Ancient Ones legacy amongst the rootstone of Great Lurgbuz Desert.
Seek a token of the Ancient Ones legacy amongst the camels of Great Durbuz Desert.
Seek a token of the Ancient Ones legacy amongst the camels of Great Antanoatos Desert.
In the forest of Koehine Forest roams the Living Trees (482). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the desert of Great Antanoatos Desert roams the Family of Ogres (2242). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the desert of Agamenakos Desert roams the Giant Scorpions (246). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the desert of Great Ugdur Desert roams the Sandlings (1911). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the desert of Great Perikeros Desert lurks the Sphinx (848). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!


Need some money.
Gyperboreya (10)
Wonder if bog things are also friendly ?
Iron Harlequins (12)
We didn't do it. We weren't there.
Four Horsemen (13)
Buy and Sell!
Sell and Buy!

Englefart was practicing his tradesman catchphrases. 

"I've got 400 mouths to feed! Think of the children!"
MetroGnomes (14)
“Study, study, study! Edward, are you up to teaching next month?”
Grey Order (15)
Time to build cities, time to raze them is coming
Great Horde (16)
Villages, Towns and Cities are falling. 
Malibu West (17)
Grizzly bears! There is no fish in pockets of my people.
Pride of Lions! The revenge is coming as cold, as possible on our cold water.
Sandlings! All of you. By the way, where are you?
Sphinx! Yes, you. And you. And a third one. Oh, c'mon...
Desert Eagles (18)
The Sphinx, seems to like the goblins around him for now. Lets hope that remains true.
The Filras (20)
Demons now demand 3/4 of the harvest. Still a good deal!
M9 (22)
Rumors are that some factions already beating factions guards, are we late?
Akacis (23)
Need more silver! Need more cities! Need more POWER!!!
The Power (24)
Too many monsters... exploring and producing are really complicated...
Silver Hand (25)
It is nice to travel on a ship... even on a cargo ship.
Beastmasters (29)
I'm preparing a big thing. Hope I will find the strength to write a story about it.
Avalon Empire (3)
A new faction in the desert near a city. "Good luck" wispered the Cartographer as he was vanishing in a magical portal
The Cartographer (30)
Some of Vikings recruitment plans were cut short, when several huge ice worms emerged unseen from mountain glaciers and killed their men. Unlike desert sphinxes that were observable danger, the ice wurms were not. No defense yet, only hope that they won't move further in mountains.
Vikings of Venden (31)
The grain has started coming in.  This year will be a good harvest.
Atlanteans of Yore (32)
The Blood Angles will prevail!
Blood Angels (35)
The Month That No One Died

Our Eldest's Column

The time has come to welcome larger creatures into our fellowship.  Littleness is more about manners and state of mind than physical size.  A gnoll or even a centaur who bows and scrapes before his betters, is unfailingly polite, and who shows kindness to others is littler than a goblin or gnome who puts on airs, laughs at others' mistakes, or is cruel.   I encourage all the little folk, if they feel like it and if it is not too difficult, to cooperate with, work with, live among, and even befriend little folk of larger races.  Welcome them, and show our littleness by example.  Make them want to be little, too.

Women's Column

Why do we need a separate women's editor anyway?  Women's music can go in the music column, women's poetry in the poetry column, women's tapestry in the tapestry column.  But either Our Eldest or the priests, I can't be sure which, thinks the little folk need to encourage women to take a more active role in little folk development activities.  Personally, I think I write for all of us when I write that we would like the men to take a more _active_ role.  Consider the Great Grammar Ringi a few months ago, I think we all remember the men enthusiastically partying with us after sundown, but being too busy with their important grammar discussions to help prepare for those evening parties, and too drunk to help clean up after them.  

Reportedly the chief editor of the Times is a woman.  In Standard Goblin, nouns and titles are not gendered (so sad), but our pronouns are, (with only 2 genders, again sad), so we know she is a she.  I wonder how the Times' translators will translate the previous sentence into into languages with different gender rules.  The Times' editor's race was not reported, but if her calligraphy exceeds that of our best calligraphers, she must be little, either a goblin or a gnome.  No big race can achieve similar mastery of fine arts.  Our archaeologists have dug up examples of art they claim to be elvish, so fine it could not have been produced by anyone other than a goblin or gnome, but none of the elves the little folk have met are capable of art more advanced than the art of orcs and centaurs.  The high elves all fail out of our art classes in the second month of training, or get bored and move on after 3 months of self study.  Our archaeologist's claims of artistically competent elves do not match the little folk's observations to date.  So the chief editor of the Times must be a goblin or gnome.  We think she should be invited to join the little folk.  Perhaps she will teach us calligraphy.  Perhaps gnome and goblin women can find other uses for that beautiful, richly saturated red ink.

Music Column

We can take our column back from the spooks this month.  Little folk explorers have met Hyperboreans this month, and they have confirmed that their article was meant to be set to music.  Apperantly our choir director misremembered the song she heard long ago, or heard a different song, for the Hyperboreans tell us their song is about huge fields, open spaces, warmth and majesty.  Sounds really nice, actually.  Do they accept immigrants?  In this world we haven't found a single huge field, our open spaces are all tundra (not very warm) or sand.  If we are stuck in this world with its little sandy fields, I guess we should compose a new song about majestic open tundras.

So anyway, now that the spooks have gone back to their crossword puzzles and we have our column back, let us return to our discussion of which of the harmoniai should be our children's first introduction to music.  Should young children first be trained in Phrygian harmoniai because that is best suited to the energy and mischievousness of youth, or should we begin immediately with Dorian harmony, to moderate that energy and mischievousness?

This newspaper, (or at least the author of this column, I don't want the Times' editor to burn my article to reform type), thinks neither of these is correct.  Mixolydian would certainly be wrong, children should be shielded from any real unhappiness, they already somehow find enough to cry about even in these gentle, safe lands inside the ring of Good Mr. Hagen's armies.  But Lydian, the harmony of the mazurka, that I think is a fine first harmony for our children.  Here of course I mean the mazur, not the oberek, the oberek incites as much mischief as Phrygian, and not the kujawiak, that is as sad as Mixolydian.  If you are one of the many goblin choir directors emigrating to the provinces this month, please write back and tell us which music the primitive big folks of your province use to begin the education of their children.

Natural Philosophy Column

There are tiny pieces of holy stone scattered about here, mostly outside the caldera, on the steep slopes.  (And those slopes are steeper than any mountain; it took longer than expected to get up here.  I hope getting down is faster.)  This stone does float, as the natural philospher said it would, but we can't build a raft from these tiny pieces, how would we bind them together?  Our builders use cement, but a quick calculation (I am only trained in arts, but am fortunate that my architecture class taught arithmetic) computes that a conglomerate of holy stone and cement does not float.  The other member of my team distrusts my math and want to try the experiment. I am certain of the outcome.  Indeed, I have bet that suspicious doubter box tickets to the Hymnoaros symphony, wagering he can't float a conglomerate of holy stone and cement.  I look forward to attending the symphony with my wife and family in style when I return from this adventure.  

If we found bigger pieces of holy stone, we could lash those big pieces together with ropes.  Rope we have, we can spin the long hairs of the animals of the frozen wastes to make rope.  This would be easier with spinning wheels, but the whole reason we are searching this volcano is because we can't find wood.  If we had spinning wheels, we could straddle them like hobby horses, wade into the river and float north over the edge of the world.  But, no wood, so no spinning wheels, so no wading astride our spinning wheels into the water, we still need to find pieces of holy stone big enough to be lashed together to make a raft, but not so big that goblins can't carry them.  Additional camels, more than the one who carried us up here, or even (sigh) horses.  But there are no wild beasts here that can be trained to carry heavy loads for us.  This month Our Eldest asks us to welcome races other than goblins and gnomes into our fellowship.  This means we could hire big folk native bearers.  But no native bearers have come around looking for work.  Indeed, we haven't seen the natives at all.  This seems not quite right, there have been goblins, gnomes, or big folk in every other region we have explored.  I wonder what race lives here?  I wonder what happened to the volcano natives?  Perhaps this volcano was pillaged just before we arrived?  

Propaganda Column

Many of our readers will be surprised, even shocked, that Our Eldest is asking us not just to pity big folks, not just to be nice to them, but to invite them into our fellowship.  Most of us believe that those whose brains cannot handle advanced painting, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry and porcelain are barely fit to carry our stone, certainly not fit to join our tea parties and poetry slams.  These readers might not be inclined to honor Our Eldest's polite request.

Following the chain of command is not (so not) the goblin way.  But keeping an open mind _is_.  In past generations, when Our Eldest has called us to war, most of us went on with our affairs while "keeping an open mind about that".  (For some reason, the little folk have always been slaves.)  When our eldest called for sacrifices, most of us seriously considered the possibility that such sacrifices might be called for, even formed local committees to discuss arguments for and against the sacrifice.  The little folk are nothing if not tolerant.  So, even if today you have grave doubts about your own daughter marrying a centaur, at least show tolerance toward those of the little folk who do want to experiment with miscegeny.  Each of us doing it our own way has always been the little folk way, so please, be polite to others among us who want to do it their way.  Keeping our heads down and being polite _is_, after all, the little folk way.

Governors Column

We wonder whether Our Eldest has come to his senses and will now allow us to resume the slow process of showing good government by example?  Will he apologize for asking us to carve scary masks and asking us to try frightening the people we are supposed to be trying to help?  Will he gently, in the little folk way, tell our people it was all in fun, that we just sought to entertain them?

Religion Column

The little folk have enough new members (welcome, new little folk) that many of us do not know what role our Eldest played in the first days of the little folk, and have not yet heard the good news of the great boon that Good Mr. Hagen did for us in those days.  So, to educate young little folk, and to remind old little folk, I would like to tell the good story once again.   In the dawn of days, our eldest met Good Mr. Hagen in a place called the Nexus.  Our Eldest was about to pass through the desert portal, when Good Mr. Hagen stopped him, and told our unsuspecting, naive Eldest how dangerous the lands beyond that portal were, and how untrustworthy some of the inhabitants of those lands could be.  Then Good Mister Hagen kindly offered, indeed insisted, that Our Eldest wait comfortably for a month in the Nexus, while Good Mister Hagen (and the Thane's Ring spirits) went ahead and cleared the lands so they would be safe for the little folk.

The lands we inhabit are as peaceful as they are because Good Mr. Hagen and his spirits bound all the evil in them before we arrived.  Beyond the ring of Good Mr. Hagen's armies, life is brutish and short, every month we read in the Times frightening stories about the lands beyond the ring of Good Mr. Hagen's armies.  We give thanks every day that Our Eldest tarried that month, letting us live in the safe lands inside the ring.

Our Eldest has done and continues to do much for us, if perhaps not quite as much as Good Mr. Hagen and the spirits of Thane's Ring.  We owe both Our Eldest and Good Mr. Hagen our gratitude.  That said, Our Eldest is not infallible.  (We don't know about Good Mr. Hagen yet; he might be infallible.)  Sometimes even Our Eldest makes mistakes.  So, to Our Eldest, (most of) whose work his priests are grateful for, his priests have this kind, gentle, and helpful thing to say this month: 

"             WE TOLD YOU SO!"

Little goblin children's evening prayer:
    Bless Good Mr. Hagen and the Thane's Ring spirits that aid him.
    May his campaign to seek out and bind evil bring to all the peace inside the ring of his armies.

Grammar Column

Dear Miss Goblin Grammar; 

Last months article by Great Horde read "We see first necro creatures. Call to arms! Be ready to fight live beings!" Was Great Horde encouraging the necro creatures to fight, or encouraging the live beings to fight?  -- Confused about Commas.

Dear Confused about Commas; 

In Standard Goblin, "Be ready to fight, live beings" asks the live beings to be prepared, while "Be ready to fight live beings" asks the reader to be prepared to fight live beings.  The difference arises because Standard Goblin supports implicit subjects.  So with no commas, the implicit subject (the reader) is asked to prepare to do battle with live beings.  If the dead read the Times, this would be asking the dead to be prepared to do battle with us.  But that's silly, because the dead can't read.

Miss Goblin Grammar suspects Standard Goblin is not the official state language of Great Horde.  So it is possible, even likely, that the article you read last month in the Standard Goblin language edition of the Times was translated from the original, probably written in the state language of Great Horde.  If so, it is possible that the translator did not place the comma correctly.  It is possible that in the state language of Great Horde, words are gendered "animate" or "inanimate", not "female" or "male".  If in the state language of Great Horde, the verb carries the gender of the subject, it may not have been obvious to the translator that "bereadytofightlivebeings" needed commas for disambiguation.  Or it is possible that the language of Great Horde does not support an implicit subject, which would make this sentence unambiguous, as then "live beings" must be the subject, instead of the reader being the subject.

All of the units of Great Horde that Miss Goblin Grammar has met personally were still alive (or at least seemed to her still alive) when she met them, so Miss Goblin Grammar thinks it likely that the Times' translator did not realize Standard Goblin allows implicit subjects and did not realize a comma was required.  It possible that the correct translation into Standard Goblin of Great Horde's article last month is "Be ready to fight, live beings", not "Be ready to fight live beings".

Obituary Column

Bizarrely, no one died all month.  That never happens.  Our funeral directors are retraining, taking adult education art classes.  What does this mean?  Will it happen again next month?  Is this lack of death (undeath?) somehow connected to Great Horde's warning about necro creatures?  Or is this somehow related to all the guarding we see going on around us?
little folk (38)
Our Ambassadors to the Trading Guild have yet to make contact.  So far their actions are peaceful, but the future remains to be seen.  In the desert, monsters continue to roam past our tents in the night...
Kiiran (39)
Once more, a sphinx has started eating the tax collectors of the Four Winds. This is a modest inconvenience, we are used to dealing with this.
The Children of the Four Winds (40)
Winter is coming!
It's getting cold in the north. Those who did not have time to get horses and camels hid. Alwengy go out on winter trails to capture new lands.
Alwengos (41)
A super tolerant threat:
If you continue to settle my lands, I will cut you off what you associate your gender with!
Prodigal sons (42)
Autumn leaves
Leaves on the ground are turning,
Yellow, brown and red.
Smoke from the bonfire burning,
Climbing overhead.
Here comes Autumn to bring the mist and rain.
Summer has gone for another year,
Autumn's here again.
Martiniks Trade Guild (43)
my journey through halfway , I found myself at edge of earth
Brave hedgehogs (46)
"Lord, lord, ..." breathlessly the messenger came into the field position of Merewulf. There are new people in the city... 
The House of Cygwin (47)
The presence of homefinder at the bay has been steadly cooling the waters. Today Utuk'ku could feel a change in the air, a fresh breeze where none had been for months. This upcoming winter will be the first true test of her resolve.
Stormspike (49)
At least some of monsters know how to behave.
Thane's Ring (5)
New tundra hexes has been discovered. Cold and dangerous place.
Warmer deserts seem more suitable for early expansion.
Magogash empire (51)
What Torwin didn't expect was the distraction. Nearly everything - noise, smells, lack of comfort - prevented him from studies. He thought he needed the quite lonely place.
Corvin Ravens (55)
Another month in the south and the sun still shines bright. 
Orc Hunters (56)
The law of nature is very simple.
There is pain in the world.
"Ring through the nose"
always raises the question in us:
"How to get on the right path?"
Dark League (6)
sziny koins..
Ogre Mages (62)
Attacked by sandlings! What a new low...

Peace at all costs!
Peacekeepers (7)
It's getting crowded over here...
Fenris Reborn (70)
What will happen next?
StarFire (72)
Romans are starting to find lots of factions around us.
Hope they are friendly.
Romans (8)
Peter awoke and sat up, wincing at the pain in his ribs.  Taking stock, it appeared that nothing was broken, but there were bruises and small cuts all across his face and ribs.  Well, not everyone is tolerant of street orphans, peter thought, but he wished he knew how long he had been out and how much he had missed.
The Orphans (9)


Tavern patrons complain about the strange taste and smell of egg dishes after adherents of the Holden's Witness Sect visited these taverns.
Such a shume! Holden looks a gift camel in the tooth!
Holden cooks dumplings in a teapot
The Fallen Angels will enjoy finishing off the Dessert Eagles!