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Times Turn 14

   _.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._.-=-._
.----      - ---     --     ---   -----   - --       ----  ----   -     ----.
 )                                                                         (
(                             NewOrigins Events                             )
 )                              March, Year 2                              (
(                                                                           )
 )     Some pilgrims are whispering about an encounter between enemies     (
(        happened in the plains of Pestflo where 26 combatants were         )
 )    killed. The attackers slaughtered all defenders. This battle will    (
(           be known as Battle near the ocean of Atlantis Ocean.            )
 )                                                                         (
(                          .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                          )
 )                                                                         (
(        Some druids are discussing about the battle between hostile        )
 )     forces happened in the plains of Pestflo where 1 combatant was      (
(     killed. The attackers slaughtered all defenders. This battle will     )
 )            be known as Battle near the forests of Chayemner.            (
(                                                                           )
 )                         .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                         (
(                                                                           )
 )       Several druids are worried about a conflict between enemies       (
(       happened in the forests of Chayemner where 5 combatants were        )
 )    killed. The attackers slaughtered all defenders. This battle will    (
(                be known as Battle of the city of Baimark.                 )
 )                                                                         (
(                          .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                          )
 )                                                                         (
(     Multiple bards are worried about the city of Onthead that lies in     )
 )    the Derngill mountains, where an opposition extinguished guards.     (
(                                                                           )
 )                         .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                         (
(                                                                           )
 )    Some druids are discussing about the city of Trasicy that lies in    (
(         the Feltiuckfex desert, where a faction expelled guards.          )
 )                                                                         (
(                          .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                          )
 )                                                                         (
(     A few druids have heard about the city of Honmioxfiw that lies in     )
 )       the Blecishchan desert, where a partisans put to the sword        (
(                                  guards.                                  )
 )                                                                         (
(                          .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                          )
 )                                                                         (
(     Some merchants are rumoring about the town of Fleymouth that lies     )
 )    in the Garsasplia tundra, where a partisans extinguished guards.     (
(                                                                           )
 )                         .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                         (
(                                                                           )
 )     Many dockers are discussing about the city of Baimark that lies     (
(        in the Chayemner forests, where an opposition slew guards.         )
 )                                                                         (
(                          .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                          )
 )                                                                         (
(     A few locals are whispering about daredevils who have annihilated     )
 )    Sandlings (232) near ocean of Atlantis Ocean. Freeing the desert     (
(                         of Ba'a from their dread.                         )
 )                                                                         (
(                          .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                          )
 )                                                                         (
(      Numerous dockers are whispering about rangers who have expelled      )
 )        Imp (5815) near town of Leserstead. Freeing the tundra of        (
(                        Rendprog from their horror.                        )
 )                                                                         (
(                          .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                          )
 )                                                                         (
(      Some merchants are whispering about rangers who have massacred       )
 )     Tribe of Centaurs (5816) near town of Coprengville. Freeing the     (
(                   plains of Pestflo from their anxiety.                   )
 )                                                                         (
(                          .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                          )
 )                                                                         (
(      Some commoners are rumoring about daredevils who have expelled       )
 )    Lizard Men (241) near village of Subeedom. Freeing the tundra of     (
(                      Sosmeolwaul from their terror.                       )
 )                                                                         (
(                          .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                          )
 )                                                                         (
(     In the swamps of Zelrinmore, near ocean of Atlantis Ocean, Hydra      )
 )        (3586) who continue to cause terror to local inhabitants.        (
(                                                                           )
 )                         .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                         (
(                                                                           )
 )     A group of hunters slew the Pride of Lions (939) who inflicted      (
(      horror on the inhabitants of the Fro'agate plains near town of       )
 )                                Miadpri.                                 (
(                                                                           )
 )                         .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                         (
(                                                                           )
 )     In the ocean of Atlantis Ocean, near forests of Siryl, Pirates      (
(        (3585) who continue to cause anxiety to local inhabitants.         )
 )                                                                         (
(                          .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.                          )
 )                                                                         (
(        In the desert of Lecktrimhir, near ocean of Atlantis Ocean,        )
 )     Sphinx (929) who continue to cause dread to local inhabitants.      (
(__       _       _       _       _       _       _       _       _       __)
    '-._.-' (___ _) '-._.-' '-._.-' )     ( '-._.-' '-._.-' (__ _ ) '-._.-'
            ( _ __)                (_     _)                (_ ___)
            (__  _)                 '-._.-'                 (___ _)
            '-._.-'                                         '-._.-'

Quests

In the cavern of Beinsho lurks the Illyrthid (829). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the mountain of Dayiam lurks the Dragon (1039). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the desert of Blecishchan roams the Sandlings (234). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
Seek a token of the Ancient Ones legacy amongst the iron of Blecishchan.
In the desert of Cugobi roams the Sandlings (395). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
Seek a token of the Ancient Ones legacy amongst the wood of Dernglen.
Seek a token of the Ancient Ones legacy amongst the herbs of Sosmeolwaul.
In the mountain of Sweron roams the Giant Birds (330). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the forest of I'i roams the Lizard Men (247). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
Seek a token of the Ancient Ones legacy amongst the wood of Crillversqui.
In the plain of Othchobu roams the Wolf Pack (286). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the mountain of Cosdet roams the Demon (980). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the mountain of Ershall roams the Grizzly Bears (246). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the chasm of Ergmowshet roams the Dragon (1023). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the swamp of E'in lurks the Undead (1145). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
Seek a token of the Ancient Ones legacy amongst the mushrooms of Powann.
In the plain of Ecaun lurks the Tribe of Centaurs (2251). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
In the mountain of Bedsyll lurks the Storm Giant (1048). Free the world from this menace and be rewarded!
Build a Temple in Beheim for the glory of the Gods.

Articles

World is spinning too fast.
Red Skulls (10)
The exploration of the Underworld begins, so far safe, but for how long.
The Trade Group (11)
Beavers has found Jungle finally.
Oh these funcy palm sticks. Beawers were missing it.
SuperBober (14)
On to new lands we go. Less water, but no less desolate.
Distant Drummer (15)
The slightly-tanned lord looked up from his throne - well, towel - spread across the gleaming white beach.

"Visitors, my lord," cried the messenger, talons slipping through the sand as it tried to run towards him.  "They have arrived by ship and are friendly!  Would you like to greet them?"

The pale lord looked down at the messenger's feet, where sinuous tracks disturbed the placid grains, leading back to the brush whence they came.

"Yessssss, but... Anacondas.  Very dangerous.  You go first."
Under Mirk Wood (18)
La bête s'approche doucement mais inexorablement et elle a faim de sang
The Lands Kepper (20)
Honk honk honk?
The Gaggle (22)
Waste of time !
Silver Hand (25)
An interesting statement from Frozen Sails has the ambassadors stumped. The heralds have not received a single message from the applicants personally.
Barbarism, however.

The crocodiles are shocked! 
Dark League (28)
Act Two, Scene Three

The Lord's chambers. In the chambers, the Lord, the servant Vasily, the head of the migrant diaspora, several armed orcs.
LORD: "What are you doing here? Who let you in?" 
The head of the migrant diaspora: "We came for benefits for three years ahead for ourselves and for those who went on a hike!"
Vasily: "You made a mistake, the payment of benefits every first day of the month for the last one. Come back in two weeks, our army and magicians will return at the same time. They will be able to explain the rules of the rules-based world to you better than me."
The head of the migrant diaspora: "Well, no, since we came, we'll take it ourselves! Hey guys, take a look at this chest!"
Lord: "Wait! Don't you dare! I am your Master! Get out of here immediately!"
A young orc walks up to the Lord and punches him in the head. His head is splitting, the Lord falls without signs of life. Vasily backs away to the window 
Vasily: "Idiots! You have just deprived yourself of the last protection!"
The Orcs surround Vasily. At this time, armed peasants burst into the rooms. In the battle, all the orcs are killed. Orcish pogroms begin in the town. Peasants and artisans expel migrants from the town.
The Lord of Drama (29)
If you find yourself near Knotjeholm, you must ask yourself, "Why am I here when I could so easily flee?" It is quite the existential question.
Kiiran (3)
The Enclave want to express the appreciation of economic article by squirrel apparent economist Nanotha in last issue of Times. This article was quite deeper than just accounting for rise of general stock and more informative of the economic development trends of a faction in early part of world settling.
However, we invite the author next time to be a bit more exact on their methodology regarding what is considered under the notion of "capital". In trader discussions the most common usage was liquid capital, namely silver, although some use other notions of capital, as including all movable assets (incl., all stones, herbs and livestock) or even constructed assets and then evening discussions goes into considerations of valuation methods applicable to those - cost, market prices in settlements or accounting (withdraw) value. Some, less hinged individuals even want to go in directions of future discounted cash flow valuations and intangible assets (like skills, and declared attitudes) as part of capital, but that is just crazy talk.
Nevertheless, the most probable asset value being liquid monetary assets, we also did quick calculation and found out that our ratio would be around 33 days that seems quite efficient in our books.
For the future consideration, we suggest squirrel thinkers to consider improving information value by splitting calculations between different types of income.
Trader Enclave (30)
Ah more productive farmers means a fruit orchard!!
Elder Tree Forests (32)
Managed to survive a turn in the UW. Amazing.

Is that a friendly local humanoid coming towards me or a illyrthid?
Greywolf (33)
Time to start building housing for mages...  
Queen XOT (34)
War has started. Border skirmishes are developing in the right direction.
Frozen Sails (35)
Suddenly, this world began to play with new colors!
Shestoper (36)
Thanks for your help!
Voras (37)
Finally interesting, finally had some significant loss of life.  Time to get organised.
Mantzikert (39)
Unlikely news - we have been overtaken in JAVE ownership - perhaps other people have understood their combat potential! (Or maybe they also have towns that want to buy javelins, and are eager to turn wood into silver)
Children of the Four Winds (4)
Barmaids and dockworkers are sharing rumors of krakens in the water, but the riches of Atlantis's deep-sea fisheries still tempt the adventurous. 
Fishmongers' Guild (41)
Just go ahead!
Gyperboreya (42)
------------------------------------------------------------
              Squirrel Chatter                  second March
------------------------------------------------------------


Well,  it doessn't  look like our sswimmer is ever  going to
report on Dirstec. Perhapss we sshould ssend another?
                                      --Booesss Ssaury, E'in

We have the good fortune  to have disscovered an island with
17 piratess. I wonder whether  they are friendly? Sshould we
be good neighborss and visit them? Or sshould we ssneak onto
the  other ssside  of  the island  and  sssearch for  buried
treassure?
                  --Ssswimming Sssquirrelsss, Atlantis Ocean

                     world population by month
  25000  -------------------------------------------------- 
        |                                                  |
        |                                                  |
        |                                                  |
        |                                                  |
  20000 |-                                                *|
        |                                               ** |
        |                                              *   |
        |                                            **    |
        |                                           *      |
  15000 |-                                        **      -|
        |                                       **         |
        |                                    ***           |
        |                                 ***              |
  10000 |-                              **                -|
        |                             **                   |
        |                           **                     |
        |                          *                       |
        |                        **                        |
   5000 |-                     **                         -|
        |                    **                            |
        |             *******                              |
        |          ***                                     |
        |        **                                        |
      0  -------------------------------------------------- 
            2       4       6      8       10      12     14
World population  continues to  rise more or  less linearly.
Doesn't look like exponential growth, the rate of population
increase  is not  increasing.  We  aren't reaching  carrying
capacity either; there is  no decrease in population growth.
World population rises about 2500  per month. 
                                        --Nanotha, Ersatrork

Our capital to income ratio  was unchanged last month, still
54 days. Better  than a continued rise, but we  all wish the
ratio would fall.
                                        --Nanotha, Ersatrork

I met a dark adventurer. I  was unable to converse with him,
perhaps  we lacked  a common  language. A  hole pierced  the
cylinder where we  met. I tried to send a  scout through the
hole, which was clearly unoccupied, but the scout was unable
to enter the  hole, much less pass through.  After, the hole
was still  unoccupied. Squirrels  believe that  gremlins and
key  slapping slizzards  are always  visible while  inside a
hole, so  this mysterious force that invisibly forbade entry
confused us.  Our best guess  is that the  invisible gremlin
entered the hole  just before we attempted  to step through,
then  stepped back  out of  the  hole and  into the  shadows
before we had time to see it. Very tricky, these gremlins.
                                        --Herman, Andjodhelt

The  only  difference between  a  finite  length, two  sided
cylinder and  a torus is  how sharp  the boundary is  at the
northern and  southern edges. If  we consider the  family of
elliptical  ring  toroids,  it  is  clear  that  the  finite
cylindrical  shell  and the  ring  torus  of circular  cross
section  are just  two limiting  cases. The  Archon Dominion
donut  theory suggests  perhaps squirrels'  thin cylindrical
shell geography is  an incomplete, approximate understanding
of  our world  geometry. Perhaps  the  world is  not a  thin
cylindrical shell, but is  instead an elliptical ring toroid
of high  eccentricity. This would make  the distance between
surface  and  underworld  shorter  in  the  arctic  regions,
perhaps producing more shafts there. Squirrels data suggests
there is in fact a surplus of shafts near the poles. (Surely
in  no  way  related  to the  squirrel  gates  mostly  being
located  in polar  regions.) This  surplus of  high latitude
shafts could  be connected to  the surplus of gates  at high
latitudes. Perhaps this is just  because there is more water
in the tropics, and water somehow makes the shafts harder to
find  (where  are the  underwater  races?),  but perhaps  it
is  because  Archon  Dominion  is  sort  of  right.  Perhaps
our  world is  not  a thin  cylindrical  shell, perhaps  our
world is  instead a highly eccentric  elliptical ring torus,
thinner near the northernmost  and southernmost parallels of
latitude,  and  so easier  to  pierce  with shafts  at  high
latitudes. If our  world is truly an  elliptical ring torus,
this suggests that perhaps one can cross from the underworld
to the  surface or vice  versa at the northern  and southern
boundaries of the world. Has anyone tried this yet?
                                        --Bentley, Oghtstowe

Oh, look, a mountain village. There are so many happy, safe,
friendly places in this world.
                                        --Fucali Uni, Dayiam

So now we know  how to leave a boat, but now  the boat is no
place we would want to be.  It is all inhospitable rocks, no
nice ice or snow anywhere. And  I thought we passed a jungle
on the  way. Jungles have  even less snow than  mountairs. I
don't want to get off here.  It's too hot.
                                             --Visela, Cedid

I _so_ shouldn't have followed Visela.
                                              --Amama, Cedid

This sea  voyage is  going to  be really,  really expensive.
Good  thing the  squirrel  government unclaimed  fund is  so
generous to explorers.
                                            --Recathu, Cedid

------------------------------------------------------------
                                    Be with us next time for
                                    "Canoes who?"  
                                    or
                                    "Look before you leak"
                                                 --Squirrels
------------------------------------------------------------
squirrels (43)
Sailing is becoming increasingly popular.
Truth Seekers (44)
We're off to sea! After this turn, Jeremy will be ready for gating. May both ventures go well.
The Order of the Egret (45)
The builders promised that they could to the job, but at the end numbers are not enough to succeed. 
Stormbringer (46)
     Rhydian Kweo froze in his tracks, body becoming rigidly erect, arms dropping to his sides, eyes widened, and mouth drooping agape in shocked disbelief.  He knew this creature, but did not believe it real.  In his childhood, he had been read stories of fantastic, mythical creatures, he had even met a few over the years and had come to know that myth more often than not had its roots in reality.  But this was one he truly believed to be fiction.  But, then, in his world most people did not believe that his kind really existed; so, why not?
     The centaur had also stopped, not in shock, but rather in bemusement at Rhydian's quite obvious shock.  "Good day, sir.  Might I hazard a guess that you are newly arrived to these parts?"  He bowed his head slightly in acknowledgement and greeting, and continued, "My name is Boreas, and you are in the forest of Meulcos.  We Centauri have a town here which we call Erwhestead.  That is where I live."
     Gathering his senses and regaining his composure, Rhydian and bowed, returning the centaur's greeting and introduced himself.  He asked Boreas if he knew of Nexus.  Boreas confirmed that everyone knew of Nexus, but that no one had any first hand knowledge of it, except a few individuals, of whom Rhydian was most obviously one, who claim to have come from, or at least through Nexus.  As a result most people thought it to be a fanciful story.  However, of late, more people were claiming to have recently arrived from there and were completely unfamiliar with the land and peoples here.  Boreas, himself, was a scholar, as were many Centauri, and his studies led him to believe, and indeed, most Centauri did, that Nexus was real.
     Boreas invited Rhydian to return with him to Erwhestead, and as they walked answered Rhydian's many questions and told him much of the world he had come to.
Kweo Keegii (47)
Out of action points this month. Damn you, hungry lizards!
Thousand Masks (49)
The sun shines on some brighter than on others.
Sunshine (5)
FORWARD!!!
Brutals (50)
Cwom hē tō ūs. Gefēng hē þā land þæs ufera Ægypta.
Syndrig wearð se twēo crūn mid his heafde.
Gesammode hē bēgen eorðan. Geþēodde hē rēod tō bēo.
Wēold hē þām folce Ægypta.
Gesette hē rēade eorðan on middum his (Ægypta).
Gesibbsumode hē bēgen ȳðas.
Gefeedde hē þæt folc Ægypta.
Adrēaf hē heora nīedþearfe.
Sealde hē ēaca þām rīcum.
Sealde hē ǣðan þām folclīcum ðrotum.
Træd hē þā fremdan eorðan.
Sigefæst hē wæs wiþ þā ēacne swīþun þe næfdon æfæstnesse him.
Bewiste hē þæt weall, gefēng hē þā sceaðan.
Ennead (52)
***Report update from this month's world exploration***
We sail in a north easterly direction making fine progress in charting many small islands. Large creature spotted in sea. Getting closer to make detailed drawing.
***End Report***

So? Do we have any further updates?

Err, nothing for sometime sir.
Archon Dominion (53)
Wiewiórki to nie tylko futro, ale i trochę mięsa
Surveyors (55)
Land Ho!  The swarm commences landing operations.
Deathscarab (57)
The lands are getting crowded
MalibuWest (59)
The Carnivorous Confectionists Debut at the Carnival of Shadows

Prepare your taste buds and your nerves! The Carnivorous Confectionists, a troupe of gnoll chefs, have joined the Carnival of Shadows to bring their wild, untamed culinary talents to the big top. Specializing in bold, daring dishes that blend the bizarre with the delicious, these chefs promise a dining experience unlike any other.

From savory stews with a bite to decadent desserts with a twist, the Confectionists are here to shock and delight. Old Jobobo teased the new act, saying:
"A feast for the senses… but beware, their meals might bite back!"

Atlantis, prepare to indulge—if you dare.
The Carnival of Shadows (61)
I am the beginning, the end, the one who is many. I am the Borg.
Borg (62)
One thing I miss; cold Ethyl and her skeleton kiss
We met last night, making love by the refrigerator light
One thing no lie; Ethyl's frigid as an Eskimo pie
She's cool in bed, she's gotta be 'cause Ethyl's dead
One thing it's true, cold Ethyl I am stuck on you
And everything is my way, Ethyl don't have much to say
Ethyl Ethyl let me squeeze you in my arms
Ethyl Ethyl come and freeze me with your charms
Roses on White Lace (64)
Kraken Insurance: It can't stop your entire family being eaten but at least you'll know the survivors won't have to worry about funeral costs.

Please note, in some cultures, krakens are worshipped as gods. Consequently, any damage caused by a kraken is an 'Act of God' and, as per standard insurance practice, we are not liable for any damages arising from such an act.
Lunaria (66)
BREAKING NEWS:


ANOTHER MURDER LINK IN BODY ARTIST CASE?
A well informed source stated the victim of the recent murder near the Atlantis Ocean was known to be carrying significant quantities of silver. Our source, who was first local peasant at the scene, stated "Wez all searched the body for coins but found nuffin. But Willy found a gold toof." The Bureau has declined to issue a statement or release any information at this time. 


Public announcement:
The assassination of a peaceful resident in a nearby region has prompted us to introduce strong Public Safety measures. The border has been closed to those not carrying the correct documentation. Internal roadblocks have been established in the hope of preventing further movements of the suspect(s). We regret any inconvenience to the law abiding populace. 


FAMOUS SPORTSWOMAN SLAIN

Miss Liza, elder sister of the famed Lizarde family of swimmers, has been murdered by Pirates! The death of Liza, whose ambition was to be the first sister to swim from here to there, has left her sisters in shock. The family spokesperson, Miss Lisa, said "We all know the risks of this profession but never thought anything so horrible could happen to one of our own. We are heartbroken." Miss Lisa will continue her own perilous swim in the same waters. "It is what she would have done."

Miss Liza latterly worked as secretary to Inspector Lagrasse before being granted a sabatical to undertake her quest. "She was a good team member. Organized, reliable and trustworthy" he said "She will be missed."
The Water Police have commissioned the construction of a new patrol vessel in her honour. It is hoped this measure will sweep the Pirates from the dangerous waters to our West. 
 

Seers' Catalogue: Just in! Murder on the high seas! Buy now!

Pirates (941) attacks Miss L*** (3529) in ocean (**,**) in Atlantis Ocean!

Warning: May include graphic content.
Nonentity (67)
WE are doomed, the last few colony of traders is about to be wiped from the earth.... 
soon we may pass from these lands

The Cartographers
Cartographers (69)
Aaahhh! an Assassin! here in our village..... why?
time to start thinking about the future.
this has been a wake up call
The Wandering Minstrels (70)
Groo was pleased with the craftsmen busy in the valleys. soon he could expand and explore

Groo started to search for a decent weapon, twin swords to attack his foes

the Sage would return to these lands and all wold be good again,
lets hope we dont have Groo3.0 due to more monster attacks. Groo seems to get to a certain level and then the monsters come....

groo hoped for peaceful turn
Groo the Wanderer (71)
Quest: In the tundra of Co'e roams the Ice Wurms (291).  Free the world from
this menace and be rewarded!
Cone's Magicians (73)
Silver
Sea Guild (75)
I need more money
MMF (79)
Honk
Fon (8)
Things moved quickly in these parts, no sooner had Lucky Luke gotten settled than there was plans afoot! grand plans!

he cast his gaze west and saw opportunities.. 
Lucky Luke (80)
for a small island, it sure is busy
Wanderers (83)
Again, please!
Phoenix Society (86)
A centaur from the tribe said: "When a crocodile opens its mouth, kick it for lunch"
La Orden de la Sangre (9)

Rumors

Lagrasse has crossed his number one suspect off his list.
We left our island and found a continent.
Sweet-sour incense smoke
Chanting, mudras, circles, flash
Oops that word's not right.